Chronic Uncertainty: Feeling Exhausted Without A Clear Crisis

It’s fair to say that most of us are familiar with stress in the form of a breakup, a diagnosis, or a job loss, for example. These moments of disruption are easily recognisable as emotionally taxing. But what about the kind of stress that’s harder to name, when nothing overtly dreadful is happening?

Chronic uncertainty isn’t just about not knowing. It’s that ongoing sense of things not being right, of not knowing. It might come from waiting endlessly on visa approvals, legal decisions, living in temporary housing, loving someone with an unpredictable mood disorder, or living with a poorly understood health condition. Unlike a serious crisis, chronic uncertainty doesn’t always merit support or immediate action. And that’s why it can be so insidious. It can stretch out over long periods, slowly depleting your mental and emotional reserves.

Our brains are conditioned to resolve ambiguity. So, in the midst of uncertainty, we begin to predict, problem-solve, and pre-empt outcomes. This continuous loop of “what ifs” keeps our nervous system on high alert, increasing cortisol and exhausting our capacity to think clearly, rest deeply, or feel safe in the present moment. People who find themselves in this space often experience a sense of restlessness and difficulty making decisions. It fosters irritability, hypersensitivity, and even shame for not coping better when others are living in deep crises. Because stress is framed as a reaction to a specific event, and healing as something that follows resolution, chronic uncertainty may not be considered traumatic enough to warrant psychotherapeutic intervention, and it’s often dismissed by the person experiencing it. We minimise it by saying that “others have it worse” or “at least nothing terrible has happened.” But the psychological impact is very real.

You can’t always make uncertainty go away, but you can change your relationship with it. Naming it helps recognise that you’re living with chronic uncertainty. It helps to validate it and reframe your distress as a normal response to an abnormal level of ambiguity. Establishing routines and daily structures helps bring predictability to your life, even if only in small ways. And try to practice some “radical acceptance’ as encouraged in dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). It involves acknowledging reality without trying to fight it. It doesn’t mean giving up, it simple means focusing your energy on what can be influenced. Mindfulness can help with the chronic hypervigilance and connecting with others with similar experiences cultivates mutual support. Many people just like you are carrying the quiet burden of not knowing. We need more conversations that validate this experience, not just as a side note in mental health, but as a central reality for many. You are not weak for feeling tired. You are responding to something real.

Mind yourself. 

Alan.