Modern Manhood: Rethinking Rites of Passage for Men

Ceremony and tradition have been at the core of rites of passage for men throughout history and across countless cultures. They represented important milestones at which true identity was acknowledged and respected. Whether it was a spiritual ceremony, a cultural practice, or simply an informal sharing of family knowledge and wisdom, they provided direction, belonging, and meaning.

For many men, there is a growing sense that those traditions no longer exist. For many men, traditions to mark and acknowledge transitions to adulthood, fatherhood, or even retirement have been lost in the changing scape of modern society. And in the absence of these events, many men find themselves struggling for identity in a world that appears apathetic, and devoid of compassion and empathy for that loss.

In a society where gender roles are rapidly shifting, what once defined “manhood” is less clear, and the legacy guides relied upon for millennia no longer apply. Though curious and open to these changes, some men feel unsure about how to navigate them, while others lament the loss of direction on a journey that once held promise but now holds uncertainty.

Much more than just being about proving yourself, traditional rites of passage were also about recognising a unique, emerging identity. They marked a significant moment in time where a community acknowledged a person’s growth, courage, and readiness for new responsibilities. But without these events, life transitions and milestones for boys and men can begin to feel blurred. Imposing new roles and responsibilities without support or clarity around expectations can lead to fear and confusion. This can also lead to resentment, defensiveness, or distorted views about masculinity. However, it also offers an opportunity to reflect on our needs and values as men, what masculinity means to us, and to find space for something new, something grounded in respect, care, and self-awareness.

I believe that every man’s journey deserves recognition, and that meaningful change begins where it is safe to reflect, question, and grow. Not a space for ruminating over who is “more” or “less” of a man, but a space for listening, learning, and understanding, where it’s possible to create new, personal rites of passage that reflect values, culture, and aspirations rather than outdated stereotypes. And where it’s possible to explore identity and purpose in a non-judgmental environment, learning to navigate relationships and responsibilities in a way that respects both individuality and the interconnectedness of modern life with authenticity and courage in a changing world. Strength isn’t found in domination. Neither is it found in detachment, or denial of emotion. It’s found in the courage to be fully present in your own life, and in building the confidence to embrace change without compromising your identity or your humanity.

Mind yourself,

Alan.