The Best Love
Lately, the world has been feeling heavier for many people. Loneliness is rising. Anxiety is no longer just about public speaking or deadlines; it’s a seemingly constant presence for many. Burnout isn’t reserved for high-flying executives; even students, caregivers, and retirees are feeling it. But what if what you’re experiencing aren’t signs that you’re broken? What if they’re signs that you’re alive, still adapting, still reaching for something better?
The human psyche is deeply logical. Even the most disruptive symptoms like panic attacks, dissociation, self-criticism, usually began as coping strategies. And they served a purpose, helping you stay safe, or small, or connected, especially in circumstances where your options were limited. So, that perfectionism you can’t seem to shake, may be a leftover from a time when being perfect was the only way to receive love or avoid punishment. People-pleasing became a strategy to reduce conflict in a home where tension was thick, and procrastination was far from laziness but more about fear. Fear of failure, or perhaps even fear of success and the changes it brings.
What if, instead of fighting these parts of ourselves, we became more curious about them? This is not to romanticise suffering. Nobody wants to live with chronic anxiety or depression. But re-framing symptoms as creative, adaptive responses changes the tone of the conversation. It introduces self-compassion and self-love, the very best kind. It softens the inner critic and offers hope. Because if your current coping patterns are adaptations, then they’re also changeable. Flexible. Evolving. And that means healing is possible. Not because you're fixing something broken, but because you're giving an exhausted survival system some desperately needed rest.
This is where therapy steps in. Not necessarily with a toolbox of quick fixes, but with a relationship grounded in curiosity, respect, and warmth. Therapists don’t rescue. We accompany. We help you explore how your current strategies are working for you, and when they’re no longer needed, we help you grieve them, honour them, and build something new in their place.
You’re still trying. Every overthought text, every rescheduled appointment, every time you drag yourself out of bed and show up anyway—even that is a sign that your system is fighting to adapt. To find rhythm in chaos. To stay connected to life. That deserves praise. And it deserves tenderness. So, the next time your anxiety spikes or you feel stuck in an old pattern, maybe ask yourself, “What might this be protecting me from? What part of me is trying its best right now?” You may not have the answers yet. That’s okay. You don’t need to be fully healed to be deeply human, nor do you need to be fixed to be worthy of care.
Mind yourself.
Alan.