There’s A Reason: A Reflection For Difficult Times
There’s an old Irish saying that goes, “What’s for you won’t pass you.” It’s often shared as a comfort when things don’t go to plan, perhaps when a relationship ends, you lose your job, or metaphorical doors close for reasons we may never fully understand. On the surface, it provides a kind of cosmic assurance, that the right things, people, opportunities, and moments, will find their way to us, no matter what. But for those struggling with grief, mental illness, trauma, or painful uncertainty, this phrase can be interpreted more as ridicule than reassurance. How do we reconcile “what’s for you won’t pass you” when life circumstances only seem to add to our torment? When anxiety or depression clouds our days? When we feel stuck, lost, or left behind? When we look at others moving forward and wonder why it hasn’t happened for us?
While I believe that this saying holds wisdom, it’s important we approach it gently, without using it to compare or explain away our suffering. Because sometimes, it doesn’t arrive in the way you might expect. Sometimes, it comes to you not in moments of triumph, but in times of healing and wellness. And sometimes, the idea that something good could come at all, feels too far off the radar to comprehend. But this is where hope lives, not in pretending life is always fair or kind, but in simply trusting that something good will happen, something better is on its way. It's so easy to feel like we’re being left behind when we’re struggling. But it’s important to be mindful that life unfolds at its own pace and "what’s for you won’t pass you” can be a whisper of comfort in these moments. Not a promise that life will always give us what we want, but a gentle reminder that life is more like a meandering river and around each bend beyond the turbulent rapids, gentle, drifting, peaceful calm awaits us.
For those carrying the weight of depression, anxiety, or past wounds, this phrase might be hard to embrace. But try to believe that you are as deserving of love, support, and purpose as much as anyone else, and that healing is still possible. There are gifts you’re yet to receive, connections you’re yet to make, and strengths you’re yet to discover, because even in the midst of hardship, something within you is still reaching toward light.
If you're struggling to believe that anything good is coming, know that you're not alone. Your hurt is absolutely real, and it can make the world feel narrow, but it doesn’t mean that life is done offering you beauty, meaning, or connection. “What’s for you won’t pass you” is not necessarily about fate or fortune, but more about faith; in your own resilience, in the healing power of time, and in the notion that your life has room for more chapters than the one you're in now. What’s for you is the good that’s simply waiting around a corner you just haven’t turned yet. And it won’t pass you.
Mind yourself,
Alan.